I find myself...

beginning to over analyze everything again. It seems I can only find a bit of peace when I am drowning half the time in some for of crutch. Too much time on my own means I am too much in my head. Every look, what is said and all that's not. As if I can decipher what someone else thinks, feels. It is a curse. The blessing comes from the flip-side of feeling everything truly, deeply with every ounce I have. I recently became aware of a problem I have, have had for awhile, seem to always fall back into the pattern. There are times when I talk without thinking. This week of mostly down time spent alone is maybe just what I need. To analyze myself, take a step back and look at my interaction with others. My thoughts of self. I have a good heart, I would back you even if you were wrong when you're my friend, I often tell you how it is without trying to sugar coat it and I often want to fix everything. I can't but I do my damn best to. So instead of worrying too much what people think I need to work on what I think of me. My friends say I'm awesome and I'm sure they wouldn't be friends with me if I wasn't so let's get to believing that myself. Sure I make mistakes, I can be short tempered and bitchy but who doesn't have flaws?