Failure?

How do I seem to fail at everything I do? Even being a good christian. I spend too much time on the computer, eat too much and go to movies. I don't spend enough time in pray or reading the bible. I am trying but my mind doesn't always go to that. Is that normal? On top of all that I may have very well ruined the one chance a girl named Samantha had at finding the truth. I can't say it's easy to know I may have messed up her chance. I can't say I agree with the way things were being done. But who am I to choose? Who am I to mess that up for her? Because of my uncanny ability to ruin everything my brother, they only person I have to talk to right now, is angry with me. I can't trun back time and take back what was said. I meant it all so I'm not sure I would take any of it back. I just hope that I can learn to portray my ideas in a way they won't be misunderstood. And that I could leave this feeling of failure in California where I thought it would have stayed in the first place.