Update on Life

So a news update on my life:

1) I have realized that while I am a lot like my mother I don't have to live life the way she did. I've come to this realization by letting myself sink lower than I had ever thought I would. It wasn't a choice I thought about making but a slow process in justifying the worng things I was doing. As long as I worked hard why not have fun? As long as it didn't effect my work... As long as I remained me... In making this process the lines of who I was and who I was pretending became blurred so I threw out all expectations and guidelines(even those I set for myself).
I am like my mother in the sense that she was big hearted and caring. Sweet and loving to those who were close to her. Indifferent to those who didn't like her. She stood up for the people she cared about and didn't try to fit the mold. In these ways I have been like her and will continue to be.

2) Before I can fix anything for anybody else I first have to set myself straight. I have found my Savior and his Word. While the changes aren't going to be over night there is a noticeable difference in how I am and feel since then. I am not saying I am free from sin, every one everyday sins. I am just washed in the blood and repenting for my sins. I am asking forgiveness and taking myself out of the way of temptation. I am reading the King James Bible everyday even if I don't always understand it. Jesus Christ died for ALL of humankinds sins. To be free from hell all you've got to do is accept him as your Savior.

3) I am moving to Virginia. I came to visit my brother after four months of bickering on the destination of my soul. It was a short two months later I decided I missed him too much and realized the downward spiral I was heading into. The best thing Bry could have done was left it alone which was finally what brought me out here. If you know me you know I am a hard person to care for. Strong willed, stubborn and independent. When he stopped arguing my destruction I stepped back and looked at it myself. With my renewed faith I realized returning to Cali would only drag me back down into that spiral. So Virginia, here I come!

Some people will say I was brain washed or dragged into a cult, all I have to say to that is you've never experienced the love of the Lord. He is where you truly find unconditional love. He sacrificed his only Son so that I could one day reside in his glory. There is a peace in my soul I hadn't known before, a calmness. Through Him all is possible in good time. If you are one of these people I'm truly sad for you.