Security Blanket

I come here to write my deepest thoughts, a virtual diary. I once wanted to used to everyday to track my progress well I failed. So instead I track in mentally when I look back yet again. I am ever changing my mind. It makes me wonder if I have ever really been grounded. People say once you are one way you are always that way. Can it be true? Probably. I have always been a tad indecisive. Always second guessing my choices. It hurts like he's torn away some vital key to being happy. But the anger is a nice comfort like a security blanket. Is lying the same as withholding truth? To a significant other I would argue yes but to parents I would argue no. I guess that makes me hypocritical. Or maybe realistic. No one tells their parents everything, right? But you should be completely honest with person you are intimate with. So for now I will harbor this anger, use it to sheild the hurt. He couldn't even give me a chance to change or readjust. He was where I was once, thinking he had nothing but me. He decided without talking to me. He decided before he even told me he was thinking about it. A sunday he never wanted me around for. A sunday he lied to me about. A sunday he took two girls to the races instead of me. Without telling me the open and honest truth. I wish I knew why.