Back burner? I wonder

It seems I only come here when I can't talk to anyone else. That just getting it down, out there somehow is enough. Well my ex recently broke up with girlfriend. We played the blame game yesterday. About the choices we made and the outcome of them. I know I can't blame him completely, I made my choices he didn't force me to choose what I did. But still I find it hard not to lay some blame on him. Within a few weeks of us not "talkking" anymore he was already dating a somewhat friend from high school. I did my best not to act jealous and let it get to me. And as far as anyone knew it didn't. But if you saw the choices I had made after having that thrown in my face without warning you might know better. I am so good and pretending and faking happiness I even had myself fooled for a second. Now here I am 3000 miles away, happier than I was before I came here but I still miss him. Just being on the phone with him eases my pain or anger or whatever I am going through. And I can only take what he says at face value but I wonder if he is just trying to relite or keep the back burner going. I've smiled and been happy that he was happy with his new girlfriend. I accepted it and lived with it. Doesn't that say something about how much he means to me? She thinks she's the only one that wants him in her life, that she's the only one who care about him and it hurts. I can't get mad and call her out on it, she was a friend once and I don't want to hurt her anymore. But it's not fair for her to think she's the only one who cares. No matter how everything turns out I still care deeply for him and he's still one of my very best friends, and I won't give that up easily.