3 AM Musing

It's closing in on 3 am and I can't seem to sleep. It's christmas eve, Bry turns 24 today. It makes me smile sadly thinking about it. Pretty soon these days are going to be gone and we'll be wishing for them back. I understand that better now that I wish I was a kid again. As I look forward I grimace because I don't know where my lfie will lead. I have been up thinking of everything. The gifts I am giving my parents and how I will present them to achieving goals I just forged a few days ago. Somehow they seem more concrete than any other goal I've had. Maybe it's because I think if I acomplish them I will win the heart of my love back although it seems to have gone nowhere. Speaking of love, last night he snuck out to see me. We sat in my car talking, cuddling and well you know what happens when you go park. Lol. It was almost like before everything. I mean it wasn't that life faded away and it was pure bliss but damn it was close. It's on nights like that I think we just might make it past all this, well, shit. If only I wouldn't open my big mouth. He's got this friend that is scared that her friends will hate him. Well ladies don't you agree that can only mean one thing, she likes him. Scares the shit out of me. I can't say anything to him becuase he'll take it the wrong way and just shrug and say it's not like I'm trying to get into her pants. Well sometimes you don't have to try, it just happens. I'd give anything to see a glimpse of the future just to be sure I'm on the right path. Nothing has ever felt so right in my life, not even family funtions. Okay maybe I am getting a bit ahead of myself. Well that's it for now. Good night guys. Well actually good morning.