The Beginning

A written record of life on a near everyday basis is one of the bets ways to track growth. You can look back upon who you were six months ago or longer depending on how long you keep up the efforts. To start let's explain who I am with facts. I am 20-years-old living at my parents house. I work for a living, school didn't work out. I have blonde hair but I dye it often when I need a change. My eyes are generally blue but sometimes are shades of green or grey. I am 5'4". I am blunt-with coutesy if I like you. And sarcasm drips from my words most of the time. Now for the things that aren't so cut and dry. My life as not been an easy path to follow. The damage I find that I fixed is replace by more in a short time. I don't always trust my judgement in what makes me happy and the thing that I want. Sometimes it take me only a day to decide other times it take me months. As an effect I constantly rethink decisions I've made. On top of that I pushed most people away or keep the at a safe distance. Where I can crawl back inside the hole that is always inside so that I can hide the darkest of my thoughts. It has left me feeling rather alone and isolated. I don't have the energy or strength to reach out to anyone. So here is where I will begin to write it all out. The darkest of my thought, the everyday battles I have with myself and those around me. It's as good a place to start as any I say.