Made for eachother?

Goodbyes don't seem to stick with us-Clayton and I is who I am talking about. I don't know how to just let him walk out of my life without fighting for it. Maybe it would be for the best but I have a hard time believing that. It's like we're two halves of a hole. If you ask me he got the better ebd of it. I am ALWAYS stressed or worrying or bitching about something it feels like. While he gets to go out have fun trying new things and basically be his age. He makes me feel normal you could say. It's not like I don't know that me worrying and stressing so much isn't normal. It's just always been my way. And he'll argue with me over stupid things because well I'm argumentative. He doesn't just sit there and let go in one ear and out the other. He makes valid points that I actually have to think about a response to. We could have been something great, maybe we still can. I think that's why I can't just let him walk away. I saw him tonight. Yelled at him for being well idiotic. It's funny he just stood there listening, arguing with me back. He could have gotten in his car and just left. That's gotta mean something, right? I lied to him. I bought him this ring yesterday but I told him I had bought it awhile back. I don't know why I even bought it in the first place. It was impulsive which isn't usual for me. Sometimes I wish God would just shout out what he wanted from me and that be it. I hate feeling so helpless and confused. Why give me someone in my life that was made for me then take it away? He's got one hell of a sense of humor if you ask me.